They often feel like they are outside looking in, somehow missing a vital ingredient to their inner wholeness. The four believes that they are somehow innately flawed or defective because of their difference. They are often filled with a longing to be like others, who they see as navigating life with ease and freedom. They tend to believe that no one can ever truly love or understand them. They sometimes purposefully distance themselves from those they believe are beneath them.Īt the same time, fours often struggle with the distance that they feel is between them and others.

They can appear condescending as they tend to believe that their choices place them above the mainstream common man. They will always follow their inner values and what they hold to be true, even if this causes them difficulties, as that is far preferable to being false or inauthentic.įours want to be unique so fiercely that they resist ordinariness and often struggle to see things that they have in common with others. They hate the thought that they might be portraying a front to the world and are constantly assessing whether they are being real. This quest for identity is important to fours, who are passionate about authenticity. They believe that they are unique and need to find and express their unique identity. They may invest time cultivating habits and behaviours which set them apart from other people, or experimenting with different identities until they find something that they believe is truly “them”. The four’s own feelings can be so powerful that they struggle to distinguish themselves from their emotions, and often need time alone to cope with this intensity.įours tend to delight in being eccentric and ‘different’.

This means they are often empathetic, gentle friends, gifted at drawing out emotional honesty. They are warm and perceptive and are able to pick up on others’ feelings as easily as their own. Sensitive and intuitive, fours have easy access to their emotions and feel things deeply.

They enjoy being able to communicate and express themselves in ways that others can connect to, and are often gifted at being able to portray universal truths through artistic endeavours. Fours appreciate creation over consumption, and many fours (although by no means all) are gifted artists. They admire beauty and tend to surround themselves with things they view as aesthetically pleasing.

Enneagram 4 disintegration